Full Citation

  • Title Garrick's vagary: or, England run mad. With particulars of the Stratford Jubilee
  • Imprint London : printed for S. Bladon, No. 28, in Paternoster-Row, 1769.
  • Pages 60
  • Language English
  • Microfilm Reel # 2469
  • Physical Description viii,55,[1]p. ; 8°
  • ESTC Number T40533
  • Source Library British Library
GARRICK's VAGARY: OR, . ....... ENGLAND RUN MAD. With PARTICULARS of the STRATFORD JUBILEE. !iFuror 0 Socii, quae tanta Inarnia Gives ! VIRG. It epidemic Madness thro' the Land ! LONDON: :f: i S. Bladon, No. z, in Paterno r-Row, 1769. GARRICK'S VAGARY: 0 R, ENGLAND RUN MAD. SCE N E I. The BEDFORD COFFEE-HOUSE. Eilnt Nettle, Fanciful, and Lurcher, three critical .Play-house Frequenters, tie frj? angry, the others laughing. Nettle. T 0 now be quiet-Pray let me get into yon Corner, that my Ears may have a soothing Recess from the per- ctual and grating Din with which they B . are (2 are now most cruelly perfecuted-L. Whithe rfoever -I go, I can hear of no- thing but Stratford, Avon, Shake- fpeare, Jubilee, and I know not what! Fanczfil. What it means, I suppose - Lurcher. You suppose! You do not mean to affront the Gentleman, I hope, by this indireEt Implication of a Doubt concerning his Knowledge of Men and Books. Nettle. Why, really Gentlemen, I do not know well what to think of both, or either of you-whether you mean to be serious or jocose witl your humble Servant; tho', by the colleEted Steadi- ness of your Features, Mr. Lurcher, I &ould [3 ihould incline to think the former, yet, by a seemingly covered Archness in your Expression, I have some Inkling to furmile the latter-Be that as it may, 1 care not; but be assured, you, Sir, as wvcl as your Friend, Mr. Fanciful, v;.lom I know to be of a smiling Dif- position, that I underfland thoroughly the Purport, the Tenour, the Meaning, the Drift, and utmost Significancy of the Word Jubilee : and, from that con- fummate Knowledge arises my present Indignation against the People of Eng- land, Men, Women, and Children, Cler- gymen, Soldiers, Lawyers, Physicians, such as have no Patients, those who have chufe not to quit them, by Reason of the golden Rule- -to fee them, I fay, iunning out of Town, pell-mell, after aBiat of y'udaifin, a since fofter-Child of Popery, now, forsooth, revived by: lAclor, to the very imminent and B mofl [4 ] most alarming .Danger both of Church and State-As a good Englishman, and a true Protestant, I feel much Concern, am patriotically hurt, at such unwarrant- able doings, at so papiltical a Manouvre, at this Time too.-I wonder how our Bishops can remain quiet on so critical an Innovation- Let them look to it in Time, they have more to fear from its Conf:quences than I- Lur;cher. WMhy, Sir, you need not wonder at their Indolence or Supineness on this Occasion, if you reflect how passively polite, and minifferially complaisant they deported themselves at the passing of the Jew-Bill-Their specific Philanthropy, universal Benevolence, and profelfiona! Charity for their Fellow Creatures, never appeared in a more conspicuous Manner, than in that delicately trying Circum- fiance [5] stance which afforded ample Matter of Admiration throughout the Realm. Fanciful. Surely you don't think you can take us in, that Way, my dear Lurcher; I know you well ; this is one of your Ily Jokes, and might pass on others, not on me-But to be serious a little, I de- clare for my own Part, that there never appeared to my Judgment but one Rea- ibn fuiiciently cogent to oppose the Jew- Bill's being carried into Execution. Nettle. What Reason is that, pray ? Lurcher. Aye, tell us, for I shall be glad to know it. Fan- [6] Fancizldl. W ell, Gentlemen, to satisfy at once your Impat-nce nnd Curiosity, that, v'i, ich may seem to you extraordinary, lthat Realon or mine con0ifts in, and is -founded uncn an antent Prophecy, d.- claring, that whenever the Jews fIall have a Kingdom cf their own, (which ! mulf inevitably have been the Event in England, had the A&c in their Faoour , taken Place) from the said fatal Epoch i the World is to last but three Years. Lzurcher. O I thank you for this very obliging Tnformation-- . Nettle. Such a Reason indeed may be adopted in the gay Circles which Mr. Fanciful frequents, but can never hope to pali cur- [7l current among serious Enquirers, ct Persons of strong Intellees, and ath- letic Cogitation-But let us return from tiifling, to what we have digressed from, the Word Jubilee, of whose Origin, hntendment, &c. I propose giving you a fuccint, yet fatisfaEory Account. Thlen you, Mr. Lurcher, in a, serious \Vay, and you, Mr. Fanciful, in a jocular one, may comment on what I. i| all unfold to you; that by such a Pro- cets we may be enabled justly to ascertain with wh'at Propriety this Term is now forced, or rather perverted, to notify ,nd mifdecorate a new Species-of Baccha- ralian Revelling at Stratford upon ,von. Fanciful. Sir, my Ears are all Attention. Lurcher. [ 8 - Llrcher. And so are mine-As you advance, we shall make our Observations, Nettle. You are to know, Gentlemen, that it became customary among the Jews to signify, by the Word Jubilee, the Re- turn of every fifth Year, as that follow- ing the seven Weeks of Years, at which wished for Period of Time all Bonds- men were set free; all Debts were then abolished; all Lands, that had under- gone Seizure, or been otherwise aliena- ted from, reverted, to their original Pro- prietors-The cultivating of Land was prohibited during that Year, in which the Poor claimed all the Fruits of the Earth as their Right. None but indi; gent Israelites v-ere entitled to this Pri- vilege. LlzCiirc . [ 9 Lurcher. There is no Affinity derivable from any of these Articles to the Stratford Affair. Fanciful. None in the leat-I flhall he glad to know if any can be deduced from an etymological Investigation of the Word- Nettle. As little, I alfure ye; but attend- "According to many learned Antiqua- rians, and Mafius in particular, this Term derives its Origin from the Name of the Inventor of musical Instruments, >7al, whence the Words Yobel and 'ist/, expressed the Year of Deli- ''?acct' and Rcmn ion ; because it was Proclaimed to all by the founding He- ra'ldy of one of those Instruments. This desirable Proclamation, on its being C first [ Io ] first instituted, and long after, was made known by the Sound ofa not more ele- vated Conveyancer than that of a Ram's Horn} -. Lzrcher. Here, indeed, Mr. Garrick, and his Brcther Managers, may introduce a not quite inapplicable Similarity; and by which they would greatly oblige the Public, at least the tasteful Part of it; and that is, by their procuring the Stage's Deliverance from the many undramatic Beasts of Lumber under which it now groans. That Deed would certainly effec, tuate for them an entire Remii'on of all critically candid Resentment on this very provoking Account, Fanciful. Well hit off, I swear; but pray don't forget proposing to jubilee the De- linquents [ II ] linquents out of Town,. after their Dif: mission, with a well founded.Chorus of Ram's Horns. Nettle. Naluram expellasfurcda licet ufquerecurret! HOR. I fee it were a vain Hope to expe&t a Reformation in you, Gentlemen; be- caiafe you [to Lurcher.] will never let flip an Opportunity of being farcaftical; nor you [to Fanciful.] of playing the Wag-I cannot help confefling, that even from my Gravity you had almost extorted a Laugh. But flop your Mer- riment, thatI may continue my Narrative. " In Imitation of the Jews, the Chris- tians have adopted the Name, and in- fituted Yubilees, which commenced un- der the Papacy of Boniface VIII. in the Year 1300, and are now praftifed every C 2 twenty- [ 12 ] twenty-five Years; but these relate only to the Forgiveness of Sins, and the In- duilgenlces granted by the Cchurch of Rome, with the additional Privilege of exhi- biting a thousand Pranks, Follies, and pious Buffooneries in Masquerade, Lurcher. As for the Forgiveness of Sins, few of our thcatrical Folks, I believe, think at all about it, from an internal Convic- tion, perhaps, that it would be to little or no Purpofe.-and they trouble their Heads too as little about the Indulgences of Rome, in that Article, at least, good Protestants; while they are supported by the much more desirable Indulgence of humane Britifi Audiences, Fancifil. There I join with you, Friend Lurcher, and am highly pleased to find so pat an Apo- [ 3 ] Apology from the Pope of Rome for the Pope of Drury-Lane's introducing a Masquerade, as one of the necessary In- gredients for completing a Jubilee. Nettle. What! at your severe and fly Jokes again ?-You'll not let me finish at this Rate-Pray interrupt me no more, and I shall Toon have done- Lurcher. Well, we will animadvert no more till you shall have concluded. Fanciful. Agreed. Nettle. I rely on your joint Promise-" In the following Manner is the Jubilee open- ed at Rome-The Pope proceeds from St. [ '4 ] St. Peter's Church to open the Holy- Gate, which at other Times is walled up, and never opened but on the Occa- sion of this grand Ceremony. His mitred Supremacy holdeth in his Hand a golden HIammer, with which he knocks three Times at the Gate, and repeats these Words Aperife nimbi Portas lufii- tie, &c. " Open the Gates of Righte- oufnefs unto me, I will go in thro' them, and praise the Lord." Whereupon the Aafons go to work, and demolish the Wall with which the Gate had been ftopt up---That Operation over, his Holiness kneels down before it, and the Peniten- tiaries sprinkle him with holy Water. That Part of the Ceremony being over, the Pope takes up the Cross, begins to sing the Te Deunz, and penetrates in- to the Church, followed by all the Eccle- fiaftics-- Three Cardinal Legates are, in the mean Time, sent to open the three E IS 1 three other Holy Gates that are in the several Churches of St. Paul, St. Mary the greater, and St. John Lateran. At the Expiration of the Holy, or the Jubilee Year, the eftablithed Usage of ihutting up those Holy Gates is as follows. The Pope begins by blefing the Stones and the Mortar, then lays the first Stone, and leaves there twelve Boxes of Gold, and Silver Medals; after which the Holy Gates are walled up as before, and continues so till the next Jubilee ." I have now, Gentlemen, fulfilled my Promise, so you are free to set about descanting thereon as fast as you chufe, nor ihall I be displeased to hear your whimsical ConjeEtures, so you do not strain the Matter too far. Fanciful. Onnis Comparatio clandicat: Every Comparison limps, was a very wife Ob- ferva- [ i6 ] servation made by an antient Latin Writer; and that Truth will appear most giaringly, in my attempt to make an illuitrative Application here-Firft, "As the Pope goes to St. Peter's Church to oen, &c." So did our Roicius go to that of Stratford to have opened its Holy Gates, and for this Occasion only --To vindicate a Parity in Regard to what follows, we muff substitute one of the SpeEators drawn thither by Curios fity, and presenting himself at the great Door of the Booth, then the Allusion will slide on glibly---and, holding a golden Hamimer in his Hand, that is, the Ticket, which cofE him a Guinea, be Ikocks at the Gate three Times, from a natural impatience to get in, and have a good Seat, repecling theJe Words, Ape- rift mihi Portas jli/itiice, &c. Open the Door, for I have a just Right to go in and hear the Praise of Shakespeare. The MaJfons [ 17 . Masons fall to work, and break down, &c. which is tantamount o-; ":the Persons ap- pointed to receive the Tickets open the Door, and lethim in---which done, the Pope kneels down, and the Penitentiaries befprin- kle hinm with holy WIater---fo the Spec- tator being entered, fits down, (being a much easier Situation than kneeling) and all those of his Acquaintance, now become repentant for the Expences at- tendant on this Solemnity, pay him their Compliments from every Side; because, by the French Words tEazubenite de la Cour, i. e. the holy Water of the Court, nothing more is meant than fine Words, and parading Declarations, without any Intent of fulfilling them. D Lurcher, [,8 ] Lurcher. By Jupiter, that is well hit off-I thank you---I envy you for it--Previous to that brilliant Discovery, you had hob- bled on but in a very aukward Manner, which made me to look on you fome.n times with an Eye of Compaflion. Nettle. I profess too, Mr, Lurcher, I am not a little exhilarated by the ingenious Fef- tivity of that Conceit-.-It denotes, more- over, the Gentleman's having had a French Education, and his knowing that Language well---Proceed then, Mr. Fan- ciful-- Fanciful. Ig] Fanciful. No, Gentlemen, I know my Interest too well: and, since you are both now: in so favourable an Opinion of me, I will not run tie risk of losing it;. there- fore do you, good Maffter Lurcher, take. up the Subjea where I left off. Lurcher. With all my Heart---but let me think a few Moments---Then taking up the Cross, &c.---Here we are to substitute our Rofrius, entering the Booth at Strat- ford, followed by all his theatrical Tribe, of various Denominations ; and then, taking up not the Cross, but the Ode, he begins to read, soon after his vocal Auxiliaries to sing ; so on alternately to the End. In the mean Time, three Car. D 2, dinal- [ 20 diinai-Legaes to have three other' holy Gates opened, &c.--- like unto this Act of Courtesy, three Aaors, dressed for Shake- speare's three Cardinals, Wolfey, Campe-' jus, and Pandolph, migh: be sent to the three different Departments of the Booth, imo, That in the Front, 2do, That on the Right, and 3tio, That on the left Hand, to fee that so refpe&able a Com- pany was duly accommodated---When the hcly 2tear is. expired, the holy Gates are Jluti up---fo, the Stratford Jubilee over, the Door of the Booth is to allow no more Admission of Persons, and for the very good Reason that it will, in all Probability, be pulled down, and carried away---The Pope, after he has blest the Mortar and Stones, lays thefirfi Stone---fo Mr. Garrick might give a very effectual Blessing for Mortar, as well as Stones! and lay the firit himself, towards eret- ing ing an Obeliik commemorative of the Ground whereon the Booth flood, and there to continue till the next Jubilee ---The Pope leaves behind him twelve Boxes of Gold and Silver Medals. How far Roscius might clfe to imitate this Ex- ample I cannot pretend to fay. Fanciful. But this I am sure of, that besides his Own- expending on this Occasion, which borders even on royal Munifi- cence, he is the Cause of a very confi- derable Sum of Money being-circulated at Stratford, and all around,, for which the Inhabitants there must ever retain a grateful Remembrance. Nettle. There is one Thing sticks with me yet. What Necessity was there for an Oratorio ? Facifzul. [ 22 ] Fanciful. Because, I fuppofe,_no other kind of Performance would be allowed of in the Church. Lurcher. Well then, if absolutely necessary, wvhy was a Choice made of Judith ? Nettle. Aye, that is what I should be glad to know. Fanciful. Why the Reason is very obvious--- there being no Oratorio called William to be done in immediate honour of him- self, a judicious Approximation was thus made, he having had no Sons, by complimenting him thro' his eldest Daughter Judith--- Nettle, Nettle. That is too much, Sir, there is no heaiing any more. [Exit. Lurcher. O! my dear Fanciful, that is too gross a Hum for me to fwallow---So, your humble Servant--- [Exit. Fanciful.. I am glad they are gone, being almost tired of spinning out the Subjee: so long -- I'll go and amuse myself for the reft of the Evening at the facetious Re- presentation of a Chara&er that can never satiate, the truly absurd and favou- rite Cadwallader. L[Exit. SCENE [~4] S C E N-E II. A Chamber in en In on the Road to Stratford upon Avon, a Table witb a Bottle. Gla/es, &c. HEIMLOCK, CROTCHET. Hemlock. C ONSIDERING that we rode but common Hacks, and set out rather late from London, I think we we have made tolerable Speed. Crotchet. We Thall get to Stratford early enough in the Afternoon To-morrow for the Completion of my Plan to defeat this prodigal Novelty of celebrating the Me- mory [- 2s5 ]: ntory of an idle Deer-Steaier-Since Master Roscius had the Petulance to re- jeEt my Comedy, I will do for his Va- gary, and have already sent him an an- mous Hint of it in Rhime. As in Farquhar's Play young Jubilee Dicky Is repentantly forc'd to cry peccavi; Even so with our Pens expe& we lhall lick yoti. Thou vain and prelumptuous YtxbileeDavy iHemlock. What vile Trafhl But no Matter, as we are both embarked in the fame Bottom. The Fellow does not want some smattering of Sense, but will, in the Devil's Name, strive againit Nature to be a Poet.---Upon my Word, that is a pretty jingling Conceit of yours-- unborrowed, and original, I warrant. Crotchet. Certainly, E Hemlock, [ 26 ] Hemlock. In return for that- pert-jubilee Gen- tleman's treating a Tragedy of mine in a not more obliging Manner than he did your Comedy, I purpose to fee the Va- nity of him and his vagrant Crew ade- quately punified on this Occasion, and made to undergo some singing Morti- fication. Crotchet. I am acuated with a like Inclination of disturbing this ridiculous Pageantry; and if you communicate your Scheme to me, (hall unfold mine to you, that we may mutually assist in forwarding each other's Plan. Hemlock. That will I, Sir, and cheerfully-- Miy Projea to put a Stop to this riotous and unjustifiable Meeting, so hurtful to all the neighbouring ManufaEtures, making [27] making all the Folks run so mad abroad, and gad, for what? For a Player's pa- negyrifing a Player, at a Time too when the gathering of Crowds gives so great Offence to Government, I found upon legal Authority, as I shall now read to you in this ExtraEt from a parliamentary At. "Be it declared and enacted by the King's most excellent Majesty, by, and with the Advice and Consent of the Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons in this present Parliament assembled, and by the Authority of the fame, that from, and after the Twenty- Fourth Day of June, 1736, every Per- son who hiall for Hire, Gain, or Re- ward, aEt, represent, or perform, or cause to be aEted, represented, or per- formed, any Interlude, Tragedy, or Co- medy, Opera, Play, Farce, or other Entertainment of the Stage, or any E 2 Part, [ 28 Part, or Parts thereof, in Cafe such Person (hall not have any legal Settle- nent in the Town where the fame shall be ated, represented, or per- formed, without Authority by Vir- tue of Letters-Patent from his Majesty, his Heirs, Successors, or Predecessors, or without Licence from the Lord Cham- berlain of his Majesty's Houfhold for the Time being, shall be deemed to be a Rogue and Vagabond, and ihall be liable and fubjeEt to all Mal-Penalties and Punishments, and by such Methods of Convi&ion, as are inflicted on, or appointed by the said AA for-the Punish- ment of Rogues and Vagabonds, who shall be found wandering, begging, and misordering themselves, &c. &c." Crotchet. The Spirit of this At (which is very ill-digefted, absurd, nay, an infamous oQe, 129 ] one, and ought to be repealed for many Reasons, which I have notLeifure now to enforce) apparently makes for you ; but then I- doubt that you will be able to procure any Justices in or about Stratford to carry it into Exe- cution, unless there be among them some kindred and relative Descendants from the Family that hunted Shakes- peare to London-Befides, methinks there is an evasive Loop -Hole for them to elude any legal Pursuit. Hemlock, Which is that, pray ? Crotchet. That the Ode to be performed in the Booth has not been ated; therefore does not fall under the penal Denomi- nations recited in your parliamentary Extract. Hemlock. [30] Henmlock. It has been aded at Drury-Lane Theatre privately, to prepare it for a public and money-taking Exhibition at Stratford, and afterwards is to- be re- presented at Drury-Lane Theatre as often as the Public will countenance it-What call you their Procession, iMafquerade, &c.? I tell you that every theatrical Man and Woman, that flall Speak, Sing, Walk, Fiddle, or Dance there, are comprehended in the Act alluded to---There will be fine picking; to have fifty Pounds sterling for every Male and Female Head, though Heaven knows how little is the intrinsic Value most of them can pretend to ! Crotchet. I by no Means approve of your Scheme, because it is fraught with too much [ 3r 1 much Danger, and therefore think my own, as the more prascicable, to be the more eligible. Hemlock. Let me hear it, I am always open to Convition. Crotchet. I mean, by attacking the Pride of the Performers, to raise a Spirit of Mu- tiny and Revolt amongst them, will hint to them, that this new-fangled Manner of exhibiting the Company with their theatrical Insignia, to staring Crowds along the Streets, is a degrading of their Profession, and reducing them too nearly on a Level with the formerly despised Paraders before the Booths of Bartholomew Fair---for strip Bayes of his new-raifed Troops, then what b- comes of his imaginaryKingfhip? Henmlock, [ 32 3 Hemlock. O you have always loved to be well with the Players-for my part I hate the Wretches, because in general they are as ignorant as Dirt, yet vain as Pea- cocks. For their insolent Behaviour to me at Times I am resolved to be even with, and make them know the dif- ference between such Miscreants,. such second-hand Existences, and me---Damn. them, is it not I and other Authors of my Rank that supply them with daily Bread? Are they not our Parrots? What must become of them were it not for the words which we put in to their mouths ? Crotchet. What would also become of the Words and Writings of Authors, if there were not such Parrots, as you are pleased to call them, to give Utterance and Energy to their Meaning ?---There are, [33 ] are, besides, several among them whom I esteem as valuable Members in private Life, and admire their Talents in a public Capacity. *Hemlock; That being the Cafe, Sir, I will tra- vel no longer with you---I fee that I am in Danger of your blowing my Scheme to the Players; and a Person who talks so favourably of muff be bad as aly among them. By - Crotchet's making no other Reply but with a Laugh, provoked Hemlock's raising his Voice higher, as well as his Oaths, and almost to Blasphemy,, until a Justice of the Peace entered from a neighbouring Room, to make him pre- serve Order, pay for the Oaths he had< sworn, and obey the Laws, Hemlock. I pay you! that would be stretch- ing Poetical Licence too far indeed-As for the obeying Order, Law, Precept, or F Re- [ 34 ] Regulation whatsoever, though laid down by Aristotle, by Horace, or even those of Syntax and Prosody, I ever scorned, as you may fee by my Works [takes some out of his Pockets.] These Memoirs in Prose, two Poems, and three A&s of a Tragedy--match them if you can-I am the Nonsuch of Par- naffus, you Blockhead. During this Speech, Crotchet con- trived to flip out of the Room, paid the Reckoning, ordered his Horse from the Stable, and returned part of the way back to London that Night, re- nouncing his idle Intent to interrupt the Stratford Festivity. Hemlock swore so much, and became so rude'to the Justice, that he was obliged to com- mit him to Prison, where he remained three Days, until some Gentlemen of his Acquantance, on their Return from Stratford to London, having got In- telligence of the Tranfation, procured his [35 his Discharge, and brought him with them to London. The Confinement was, however, so far lucky as it pre- ,ented his being ducked in the Avon; from which poetical River he could not hope to rife a melodious Swan, but, what he hath always been, a cackling, offensive Goose. S C E N E III. STRATFORD UPON AVON. A Lodging House. Sir Benjamin Scrutiny, Lord Charles Candid, Sir Benjamin, $JW ELL, my dear Lord Charles, I think our Apartment is as pleasantly situated as possible in this Town, and from there Windows we have a commodious Profpe& of all the gaily attiredFigures as they pass to and fro. F 2 Lord [36 } Lord Charles. I could almost become poetical on the Occasion, and had we not had a Number of Things to fee for the flhort Time we propose being here, I could find in my Heart to fit down and write away, to this rhiming Measure, in what People of Fashion are pleased to call the easy Gentleman-like Stile. Never a Sight so fine was seen, In Stratford Town, or neighb'ring Green, What rich drefs'd Ladies, flaunting Baus, Hlow fit their selves for Raree-fhews! Honest Ralph comes boldly along, Forcing his Way divides the Throng; And why shoud he not, since he canr ? For, Waunds, he's Sbakej/pare's Countryman. Sir Benjamin. So far, not amiss, my Lord--- Lord Charles. O you flatter me, Sir Benjamin--But, what heightens the moving Pictures be- fore us, is the hearty, staring, broad- faced Earneflnefs of the simple Country- folks, that form such an entertaining Con- [37 Contrast to the spruce, pert, and difcit plined Features of the Londoners, lavish- ing their Nods, and twinkling with their Eyes at every Person they can pre- tend the least Knowledge of- Enter Servant. My Lord, Notice is given that the Oratorio is going to begin. Lord Charles. An Oratorio! Well---To the Ora- torio let us go- Sir Benjamin. I attend your Lordship. [Exit. SCENE IV. Lord Charles, Sir Benjamin, on the second Morning of the FeJiival, as they are going to the Booth to hear the Ode. Sir Benjamin. W H A T an Original and tefly Mortal that is, whom we have got rid off; ever torturing himself to [ 38 ] to find Fault, and looking out for the worst Side of Things---he can't forgive Mr. Garrick this very laudable Under' taking---cc Why should he, forsooth? and Why? and Why-? and Why ?" to all his Why's my Answer is, and every unbiaffed Persons will be, that no other Individual could have been the principal Agent here, wilh so much Propriety, This Projet too may be confidered, in some Mheaure, as the discharging a Debt of Gratitude; because to the immortal Bard's Writings, the admi- rable Performer at his first launching on the Stage, in the Characters of Richard, Lear, &c. owed the establish- ing 'of that Fame, which has since procured to him an ample Fortune; a Part whereof cannot, surely, be better employed than on an Occasion like this; Lord Charles. Really, Sir Benjamin, I think such ridiculous Objections deserve rather Con- i[39 3 Contempt than to be seriously refuted--- How rm'any Places contended for Ho-; mer's Birth ? What Nation, any way civilized, is not proud of having pro- duced a Genius, and exults at every Mark of publick Honour' tha-tis paid' to him. For my Part I am not ,only pleased with, but obliged to Mr. Gar- rick, for his having been chiefly in- ftrumental in so commendable, nay so patriotic an Institution;. Sir Benjaunin. You think very Iuftly, my Lord The Intention in every Thing is to be attended to;- and a generous Mind will bound over all' little Over-sights and un- foreseen Accidents that may intervene: such as the fall of Rain, we arefurprifed with, that prevents Mr. Angelo's fliew- ing his Skill in Fire-works, as it entirely supersedes the intended Procession. Lord Charles. How many aching Hearts in and as bout 'r 40 i bout Stratford on that Account--zDo you know, Sir Benjamin, who is that well looking Gentleman juss gone by with folded Arms and down-cast Eyes, muttering to himfeli with discontented Accents-now in Italian, 9ual cattivo tempo, now in French, Zuel mauvais temps, what bad Weather ! Sir Benjamin. That is the identical Mr., Angelo I just now mentioned to you, whose Mor- tification gives me some Concern, because I am informed, that he has taken un. common Pains to make a most ele- gant Apparatus of Fireworks; Lord Charles. The best Way to comfort would be to tell him, that it is not from mere Chance alone this threatning Impedi. ment and dire Consequences of a Storm are gathering round the Town, but that they are caused by the special Mandate and Agency of superior Beings, which it A[ 41 1 it were in vain for weak Mortals to at- tempt oppbfing-And as Venus {hewed to IEneas in the last fatal Night of Troy, by removing the Film of Morta- lity from before his Eyes, that it was not the Greeks, but combined Deities that worked its final Overthrow; so one might poetically endeavour alleviating Mr. Angelo's Anxiety by a Supposition of Great Shakespeare's Shade being re- turned from Elysium, and on the Top of Stratford-Church to have sung Strains to this Purport: Obey me, ye Fairies, Whose Reign o'er the Air is, And drive Clouds fcatter'd together, Stratford afflii with foul Weather; For Shame to my Glory, It shan't live in Story, That I'm to Gun-powder beholding: That were a Demerit My Fame shan't inherit, So bear to the Steward this scolding; Dull Comments and Fireworks alike I despise, Thro' myownnative Blaze 1 foar'dto the Skies; G Go 42 1 Go tellmylov'd Rosciusl'vefaidwith a Frown; That, proudly, I'llfhine bynoLightbutmyown. No sooner was this agreeable Man- date given, than away flew the little Gen- try, East, Welf, North, and South. They let not the least Cloud escape their Search: On some of which one Party ride a Cock-horse, others drive larger Ones before, and others drag after them the heaviest; till, by aggregating their ma- nifold CollEtion, the Atmosphere is curdled into a lowering Aspe:t, that makes the drooping Swans of Avon, from Time to Time, look up with me- lancholy Eyes, and theforrowing Naiads to sigh along the Banks, at the Dread of so unwelcome and so rude a Visitation. Down falls the Rain, and all warm Hopes of a fiery Exhibition are extin- guiflhed. The aerial and watry Engi- neers scout through all the Streets of Stratford and its Purlieus, to fee the Aft of 43 of punishing in which they are employed is effetual, that the illuminating Lamps have undergone a general DevafRation; Iand to break those which, by the Bene- fit of their Situation, might have escaped. Here again, allured by the grotesque Idea, I cannot refrain from flumbling out of Prose into Rhime. Though this, Sir, to Angelo may be bad Luck, What Sport, O yeGods,for the Fairies andPuck! Lo wherever the I empeft chances to fail, hey volley with Nut-lhells, that patter like Hail; And are as delighted with this frolic Job, s young School-Boys broke loose an Orchard to rob. |ig " Sir Benjamin. J However such droll Imagery might con- ribute to make People smile, it would, I ancy, afford but small Satisfation either o Mr. Angelo or the Disbursers of the xpence for the intended Fireworks--- 'he Company is going very fast into G 2 the [ 44 1 the Booth: Let us quicken our Pace, my Lord. Lord Charles. Have with you. I feel a critical Inia patience to hear Mr. Garrick read. SCENE V, Lord Charles, Sir Benjamin, the Morning of their Departure from Stratford., Lord Charles, I R Benjamin, I know that yNo have as little Passion for Horse- racing as mryfelf; therefore ordered my Equipage to be got ready for our De- parture. The Masquerade was bril- liant: Several of your Acquaintance enquired of me if you were indisposed, as they did not fee you there. There [ 45 ] Sir Benjamin. There are but two Motives, and those not virtuous Ones, that -can hinder a Masquerade from being one of the dull- eft Places in the World; those are gam- ing and intriguing. Gaming I always abhorred, and of intriguing I was ne- ver fond ; moreover, my Affetions are at present entirely devoted to a very ami- able ObjeEt. Without either of these two Attractions, what Pleasure can there be to idly stalk up and down amongst a Croud of People, that by the diversified Absurdity of their Dresses, appear to be fitter Inhabitants for Moorfields than an Affembly'of rational Beings ? Lord Charles. Will you not allow that dancing, for young People, may be an harmless En- ticement. Sir 46 ] Sir Benjatmin. Perhaps--That depends, however, upon the Circumstance of whom they dance with, Xc. Lord Charles. I should not have staid long there ; but in Consequence of a Whisper, that Messieurs Foote and Macklin, charadterif- tically dreft, as Shylock the snarling mer- cilefs Jew, and the merry good-natured Devil upon two Sticks, were to come and frrike out between them a Dialogue, which, confidering what excellent Actors they are, each in his Way, promised the highest Entertainment. But our ExpecEation, so highly wound up, was soon let down by an Information, that immediately after the Ode, Mr. Macklin having discovered that the Chambers in which [47 which they had lain the Night before were situated over the Combustibles prepared for the Fireworks, alarmed Mr. Foote with the Apprehension of a new Gunpow- der Plot being intended against them; and that, should they be blown up, it would give the Laugh so firong on Garrick's Side against them, that were he to hear of it in the other World he should be eternally unhappy---The Re- monstrance had its Weight, it seems; for off they went---This Incident, to be sure, was odd, but cannot be imagined through any Design of Mr. Garrick, whom I would never forgive, notwith- standing the Excellence he displayed in his Part of the Ode Yesterday, which fIewed him in a new Light, and that Decies decies que placebit, the oftener seen will give increasing Pleasure; flould he, I fay, thus clandestinely scheme the De- firuction of those two Gentlemen, but con- [48] continually call upon him with these upbraiding Rhimes,_ What a barb'rous Deed, cruel Garrick, Tho' best Friend* to the Muse of Warwick§, Was't civil or fair, To squib Friends in Air, How such a Loss repair! Sir Benjamin. If this whimsical Reason, caused as I suppose it did, a Laugh among the Masqueraders, I was entertained with one to the full as Original of a Move- ment, that was made Yetlerday by Mr. King, from the Place he got up to speak in, and by Sprightly, a Student in the Temple, who, like myself hav- ing no relish for Masquerades, visited * The best Friend to a Person is the He or She who calls forth, and hews the other's Merit in the most advantageous Light. § Is a pars pro soo, and means Warwick; an al!owed Figure in Writing, especially Poetry. me [49 me in your Absence. When I asked him what he thought was the Cause, he replied, It was to itand by a Lady, give his Maca- roni extempore, to be held in her Hand, but seen by no body else, to put him right, should he go wrong. Lord Charles. 0 ! I am the Gentleman's very hum- ble Servant for that poignant Enuclea- tion - . Sir Benjamin. He is an odd Mortal, and looks at every Thing in a whimsical Light; he defcribed.to me the ridiculous Behaviour of some Authors come down here to each other, hinting by their mock- consequential Looks, Gestures, and Shrugs, as much as to fay, What has brought that Fellow to Stratford, I Wonder; can he afford it ? who has paid H for [ s °] for him ? Then he compared them, in his humorous way, -to their Silter-Prof- titutes of the other Sex; as the one by Mind so the other by the Person, and both for the fame irresistible motive, to live; and against which all arguments fail: for Choice is but seldom the cafe, on either Side.--- If the humble Night-walkers 6f the Strand, yielding to an ambitious Ini- pulse, take deviously to the Ascent of Ca. tharine-Street, they are driven back with the Charge of Impudence and Vanity unbecoming such low Wretches, by the mid-region Nymphs that are stationcd there; who, likewise, mufi keep their due Ditfance from the still higher. lodged Damsels, oft Bridges, of Bow- street, and Covent- Garden. What a cox- comical laughable Composition is iuman Nature! Lord [ s51- Lord.Charles. ; And truly so it is, Sir Benjamin-- and I dopnot know any Department of it, so grossly ridiculous in general, as that of Authors; for the far greater Number take .their separate Opinions of each other, and-there is not a good one Livig, .nay, that can write English. Name a new Work to them that has met with the Publick's universal Appro- bation, for instance, the Yuilee Ode performed .at Stratford, how much better could they have done it! Sir Benjamin. Authors, to meet with more Regard from others, must learn to be more equitable, and behave mutually with more Refpea to themselves, as is ex- perienced by those Gentlemen in whom ,H 2 Genius [ 52 *i Genius and Literature are under the Guidance of Good-Breeding. Enter, Lord Charles's Valet. My Lord, your Poft-Chariot is ready. Lord Charles. Allons, Sir Betija-in.--by the Num.. ber of Equipages drawn out and look- ing the way we intend to go, We shall have Company enough, wherefore let us take the Start of them, as I make my Exit, from our immortal Poet's na- tive Town, with a conclusive poetical Flourish, or rather farewel Crack of the Pegafean Whip. Postillions are mounted; each smacks the Thong; OffScorehow they drive! and all the Day long, For London away, for London's the Song. The rapid Zeal of those Phaeton Blades, Their fwift-flying Palfreys finks into Jades: Then is heard on each Road; Gee-ho, Gee-hup, For as they droye Down, so now they drive Up. SCENE (53] S C E N E VI, f7e Apollo .Room, at the Shakespeare's Head, Covent-Garden; where are discovered, fitting round a Table, on which is a Representation of the Mul- berry Tree, a Group of qualified Con- noiffeurs, and the Author of thi Pamphlet, their weekly Meeting, called ?he Mulberry-Club. The Author. H E R E, Gentlemen, I conclude my sportive Career, my excur- fionary Trip from London to Stratford, and from Statford to London, back. again to the fame Ground from which we departed, and that is so dearly be- loved by us all, the Garden by Excel- lence: with which none other can be compared. Sure this is Method, if ever Method was 1 Under [ 54 ] Under the Masks of several fancied Characters, I have .attempted to convey the different Opinions of different Minds as well as my own, for and against the a'e - Jubilee, and incidental Events, without, it' is hoped, any Body's taking Offence thereat, because none was meant. however, should there be found a Per-, son, or Persons, so unreasonable; I care not, conscious of my own Innocence as to that Point. The